B Movie Challenge: Night of a Thousand Cats

Let us not piss in the corner and pretend that cats are nice, soft cuddly creatures. I will be so bold to say I do not like cats. I’ll go one step further and tell anyone who doesn’t like these feline mother-biters they are the cat’s meow. Even though I am not a huge fan of these fanged beasts (is anyone a fan of things that spray your furniture and scratch your curtains to shreds?) I will never defend the cruelty of them, unlike the filmmakers of the 1972 hissing classic Night of a Thousand Cats, a Spanish exploitation film (or as I like to call it a “película de explotación española”) sure enough to give you the willies, and if you get through till the very end, a very nasty case of toxoplasmosis!

Zoom shots, slow motion takes, Lobo-esqe assistants, scantily clad woman, and a lot of hairy pussy (cats) seem to have been coughed like a wet hairball by the makers of this shlocky McShocker (not since Manos: The Hands of Fate has there been such a weird walking assistant of cinematic sidekicks). The hardest part to figure out while watching this piece of kitty litter is trying to figure out why anything is happening. Countless films have dealt with thinner plots (this one could put on a fur suit and model down the catwalk). Although the filmmakers try for a cocktail of one-half Edgar Allen Poe and one-half The Most Dangerous Game, the final mix is more like the Poest dangerous film ever made… about killer felines!

On some random Island in the middle of nowhere (aren’t they always), a rich playboy with loads of money (talk about fifty shades of a coat) is getting bored. So he does what most rich people always seem to do – HUNT OTHER PEOPLE. However (I think, given the sharp plot) to get rid of the bodies after mounting their heads in his trophy room (which brings a whole new meaning to being head of the household) he feeds the body parts to his horde of kitty-kats living in the basement. Can his victims escape the claws of this maniacal tomcat before they become Meow Mix? 

Clawing up the couch at sixty-two minutes, and directed by Rene Cardona, Jr. (who went on to helm such impeccable yarns like King of the Gorillas and Beaks: The Movie), when this film came out it received a lot of scratches from animal cruelty activists for the treatment of the true stars of the film! Landing on all fours into the public domain bin you can find this movie on most streaming platforms. Still, it might be under its alternative title Blood Feast to cash in on Hershall Gordon Lewis Classic (this is nowhere near as bloody nor puuuuurrrrrrrrrfect). So if you find yourself invited to an exotic island by a smooth-talking cat (with great sideburns and tons of cash) make sure you pack some catnip or be prepared to be turned into some Fancy (blood) Feast!

About Ian Klink

As a filmmaker, writer, and artist, Ian Klink’s work includes the feature film Anybody’s Blues and short stories for Weren't Another Way to Be: Outlaw Fiction Inspired by Waylon Jennings, Negative Creep: A Nirvana-Inspired Anthology, A-Z of Horror: U is for Unexplained, The Creeps, Vampiress Carmilla, The Siren’s Call, and Chilling Tales For Dark Nights. Born and raised in Iowa, Klink lives with his family in Pennsylvania where he shares his talents as a teacher of multimedia studies.

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1 Comment on “B Movie Challenge: Night of a Thousand Cats”

  1. Not since Iam Flemming named his immortal and immoral character Pussy Galore has one author included so many vainglorious references to the “genitalia feminina externa.” Glorious indeed!

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