If someone says you are a pig, the correct response should be “I know you are, and so am I!” The wild part of our Darwinian lives is that, instead of being closely related to King Kong, we’re more akin to Boss Hog! Recently, scientists have been making medical breakthroughs in research that our friends, the Sus scrofa domesticus, have similar cardiovascular, gastrointestinal, and pancreatic systems to humans. Through this new research, we might find cures for diabetes and heart failure, or find out why we love bacon so much (wait, does this mean I am a quasi-cannibal if I love a good BLT?). So, it’s truly a compliment when someone tells you to go hog wild on really crappy 70s slaughterhouse (smelly) slashers like Pigs! What can be said of a movie that ends with a freeze frame on a swine’s behind (talk about a greasy lens)? Well, there is a lot that can be said. You could say this is just a slope of mush compiled together with creative editing. You could say it’s a conglomeration of bacon bits stolen from similar films of the 70s like Last House on the Left, Deranged, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Or you could be like a brave school kid and “Just say no” to the cutlet-skewer slasher/mystical mystery part of your B movie tour of duty (I am the piglet, goo-goo g’joob).
As the opening (and closing) song says, “Somebody’s waiting for you somewhere down the road, so keep on driving…” past the drive-in where Pigs! is playing! Put aside the fact the film boasts a unique soundtrack (and moments when you can see the shadow of the camera), including a (not so) boorish sound effects library and music score by Charles Bernstein (who wrote music for Gator and A Nightmare on Elm Street), this little piggy probably has a major audience who has seen it, but because of all the titles it’s hard to say. Also known as Daddy’s Deadly Darling, Daddy’s Girl, The 13th Pig, Blood Pen, Horror Farm, Roadside Torture Chamber, The Killer, The Killers, Lynn Hart, The Strange Love Exorcist, The Strange Exorcism of Lynn Hart, and The Secret of Lynn Hart (just to name a select few), this film has more title changes than a congressional ‘pork legislation’ has earmarks! What is so fascinating about the movie (which hardly showcases the violent, bloodthirsty porkies the poster exploits) is how relatable to a hot dog its history has been. Sliced, diced, and minced under so many titles and producers, the movie is sure to have been seen by the same drive-in audiences over two decades, they just didn’t realize it. Directed by legendary film gagster (he should have been arrested under the Ricco act for conspiracy to make a great film out of this) Marc Lawrence, when completed Lawarence was asked to film several new scenes, including an exorcism of the Lynn character, to cash in on the success of The Exorcist, hence the titles The Strange Love Exorcist and The Strange Exorcism of Lynn Hart. It seemed each time a distributor rooted around this muddy film, a fresh title was squeezed out (and without much bread and roughage for help). Great camerawork by Glenn Roland and Irv Goodnoff (who also edited) cannot gilt the audience into seeing a roaster that doesn’t know if it wants to be a psychological thriller or a downright slasher commercial cut of hammy delights!
It’s been a real hog-wild life for loser small town diner owner Zambrini. His witchy/bitchy neighbors hate him (mostly for his loud assortment of twelve loud ziggy-piggies), and are positive he is feeding his filthy litter more than hormone induced pig creep. It appears every time someone goes missing in the area, Zambrini just happens to gain another pig to his herd. The truth is, his weaners have developed a craving for blood and human meat since he started taking care of the riff-raff who have tried to rob him over the years. Though not proud of his dirty deeds (done dirt cheap), he vows to change his ways… until Lynn shows up. Ditching a random nurse’s uniform and asking for a job, Zambrini can tell she is a runaway and brings her into his home to live and work, but when the local sheriff discovers Lynn is a runaway from a psychiatric hospital, Zambrini fears he might lose the only one he has cared for in a long time. Will Zambrini and Lynn be able to live happily ever after, or will the ghost of her father seek justice by making Zambrini into pork chops?
Hogtieing your way at a butchered eighty minutes (depending on the version you horrifyingly witness), the film had such a shuffle over the years it eventually was released as late as 1984 theatrically under the title Daddy’s Deadly Darling before landing in the hands of Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Herz at Troma for home video under the Pigs! banner. You can find this runt on most streamers, including YouTube, but try to root through the trash to find the Blu-ray from Vinegar Syndrome, featuring interviews and alternate title trailers (now that’s a great special feature confinement). If you ever find yourself lost and are found by a random diner owner who offers you a well-cooked ham, be sure to double-check that your ham hock isn’t next up on the menu (is the special fresh meat?) as you watch a cinematic porky pig guaranteed not to be a boar!
